I am only 21 when I know u

I am only 21 when I starts to know and understand u
An impossible thing that I never thought that would occur
But it happened.

As I walk along the road of growing up,
I learn and discover more.
Things that shock and disappointed me.
Slowly bite by bite I begin to realize
that I am only deceiving myself.

It's going to be 7 years.
I have waste enough time and tears
Time that has pass and gone forever
Tears that have drop and dry
Nothing can be retrieve

I have been waiting for nothing.

CNY

Happy Lunar New Year! Here comes the year of Snake.



This year has been a busy year, I have been to more relatives houses than before. Couldn't feel much atmosphere except being really busy preparing for CNY. Spring cleaning and buying goodies and stuff etc. .

However, I am glad everything is fine and everyone is happy. Though I could see my aunt truly tired and sick this year. She couldn't smile. Even though I make silly joke. She still look grumpy.  Couldn't blame her, she is sick and tired that she still need to do all the preparation. Luckily, her daughter is able to help her.

While today is Valentine's day as well. I well spent it with my friends over a dinner. Nothing beats better than having a home cook food. =)

Stay Cheerful!

Stand Up

Even if life is hard, don’t quit until the end
The sky will protect your side
Your footsteps are heavy, make some noise
You sink down and let out a sigh
But one more time, one more try

Look to the sky confidently
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Inside of you is someone like you
Don’t give up on your future even if it’s hard
Stand up, hold my hand, take the world

Like how petals fall when time passes
Clouds promise rain
Even if you’re struggling
It can change by whatever the sky wants
Don’t worry, never mind
Wait for that day

Look to the sky confidently
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Inside of you is someone like you
Don’t give up even if it’s hard, one more time
Stand up, hold my hand, stand up again (Stand up)

Stand up (Stand up)
Raise your head

Please don’t waver
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Don’t give up even if it’s hard, one more time
Stand up, hold my hand, stand up again

Observe and feel
Even if we’re different, my friend
You’re not alone, stand up again

12 years

It seems like it's just yesterday.
But you had left us for 12 years.
Till date the sorrow and pain of loss still follow
Specially today.

This is the day I woke up to find you gone.
Physically gone from our life.

It's shock and unbelievable when I hear the news.
How I wish someone would tell me this is a joke.
But the reality hit you hard and cold.

It's no joke, not a dream.
No amount of words can describe the emotion
Only the tears will tell

I'm so sorry for not treasuring you when you're around.
Not following your guidance you're there to advice.
And now you are gone.
Who will hold my hand and guide me?
Who will be there to give me advice?

12 years has gone by,
Tripping and falling, I have grow up
An adult but not a child you know before.

Still remembering your wish
Your expectation.
But I did not live up to it.

How I wish I could do better
How I wish I could do you proud
But I failed. Sorry.

I knew this it not what you wish to hear.

You are still waiting,
Waiting for all of us.
Still watching us from far above.

Wishing and calling upon us.
But we hear none.
Still moving around like a headless bee.



Forever missing you.

April

Be calm in arguing; for fierceness makes error a fault, and truth discourtesy.

- George Herbert

Laugh

Laugh when you face people who dislike you, they are only jealous.
Laugh when you face stress, it will soon be over.
Laugh when you’re embarrassed, it’s creates a life story you can tell.
Laugh when everyone else isn’t, they’ll want to be able to laugh like you do.

No Longer A Child

I'm no longer a child
But an adult

Someone who should think twice before
Acting or speaking

An adult who has ownself opinion and decision
I need to focus and move on
Not just standing at the crossroad again

Putting on my thinking cap
Looking around me
I saw the reality
But nothing I can do about it

Only to remind myself not to become like them
Not to lose my focus

Trap

Step by step
I found myself walking right into your trap
The darkness envelope me once again
The familiar chill from the coldness surround me

Step by step
Forgotten my dream and walk into your trap
Lacing with hope then disappointment
Once again the familiar emotion come back


I've been sick and down almost 1 week. Caught the virus from mum I guess. Well, doesn't matter. It just take time to heal. Haiz . . . What's wrong with me?
I've been thinking but nothing conclude from it.

Smile

Smile my dear old frenz
It has been a long time since I saw your charming smile
It has been a tough period for you.
But believe
There's always a rainbow after the storm

(@^_^@)

Minor Head Injury

18th Nov 2011, a day that I'll remember . . .
Awake at 3am, I fell asleep on the recline chair in my mum's bedroom. I saw mum still fast asleep on the bed and got up to switch off dad's bedroom light before dropping myself onto the bed.

5plus am
I heard Mum switching on dad's room light asking, "dad, why I'm cover with blood?"
I woke up immediately and went to check out my mum. I couldn't believe my eyes, half of her shirt was soaked with blood and dripping trail down her pants. She was holding on to her left side of the head with a towel which still has some bleeding. She couldn't even stand still, waving a little with each step she tried to took.

Shock, unbeliveable. In front of her bed was a pool of blood which already starts to thicken that shows it had been there for some time. We immediately rushed down to NUH A&E. She was being stitched and discharge immediately.

. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.

It's has been coming to 1 month since the incident. I nearly lost my mum that day. I've came to realized she's the most important person in my life. She is the one who stand by me all times, who taught me morals, who scold me when i made mistakes and who dotes on me truly with all her heart.

All I just want now is to spend more time with my mum and dad.
I don't want any regrets.

13th Dec 2011

要看破。不要怕苦。
美丽的东西都是假的。
就像那支真花一样，会枯萎的。

~姐姐

Stroke

Grandpa got stroke last night but he's feeling better now.

Wednesday's mumbles

Let nothing bring down your smile or laughter.

Liver Cancer

Heard of Liver Cancer?

My friend had one and it's stage 4 right now.
Just receive news that he can only live for another 3-4 days.

Shock? Yes I am cos when I hear of him falling sick due to stomach pain was 1 month ago. It's only then he discover he has liver cancer. No signs before till he admitted hospital.

What can I say? To treasure my time and be happy.

Magical Journey

It's a magical journey I would say for the past 2 month. . .

It's originally supposed to be 1 month but with luck I extend it to 2 month. I'm really glad that i made it even though I nearly cancel the trip during the last 3 days before departure in June. It's not easy to been thru this times but I learn a lot . . .

I learn to let go
I learn that nothing stay the same forever
I learn not to take things to heart
i learn not to trust my heart
I learn to be truthful to others even though they are not
I learn that it's better to depend on yourself than others
I learn not to take life too seriously at times
I learn being happy is the most important thing at the end of the day
I learn to grab the opportunity before it's gone
I learn that though my trip has ended but my true journey is still going on, forever and ever, never stopping . . . =)

B&S I'm glad to have you guys and gals for this trip as time really passes better with your laughter

I will never forget the times we eat and eat. Days filled with chocolate ice cream, fruit juice, delicious home cooked food by "Very Nice Sister", Ah Hua, YaZhen and BigBaby.

The influence laughter by Ah Seng "HAHA HAHAHA", the copy king - Mr Water and introducing you another BigBaby - Mr Lim whereby Poor AhBee - who always been disturb by the guys by his mumbling speech.

Truthfully I'm glad being there, enjoying the daily non-stop work with them. All the best guys n gals.

Pursue

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The further has not yet come.
Looking deeply as life as it is
in the very here and now,
the practitioner dwells
in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who knows
how to dwell in mindfulness
night and day
"one who knows the better way to live alone."

Let go of what is past. Let go of what is not yet. Observe what is happening in the present moment, but do not be attached to it. To live in mindfulness.

"Hardships make us strong. Problems give birth to wisdom. Sorrows cultivate compassion. Those who have suffered the most will become the happiest – Daisaku Ikeda"

In the Loving Memory of My Grandma

Aged 83 Departed on 17th Apirl 2011 Sunday 20:06 Sunday (lunar 15th of 3rd Month)

Dear Grandma,


From the day you admitted hospital till today burial, it has been 1 month.

Seeing you lying on the hospital bed suffering in pain has break many of your children and grandchildren hearts. Their hope of your recovery had been rises up when they saw you chirping happily away but never to their knowledge that it's the last time as you lapsed in and out of conscious and constantly in pain over the 3 week plus till you breathed your last breath.

I'm sorry grandma for not being by your side when you breathed your last breath. A 7 days wake might be long but after today we won't have any more chance to see you again.

How are you grandma? Knowing that you had left us forever as the thoughts of your new house at Chao Chu Kang Cemetery brings tears to everyone of us. The least I know we had accomplished the last task by completing the burial today.

Life is really short and suffering.
人生好苦，没意思。

Grandma, you had left us for another path but we will always remember you in our heart.

＂我的人生＂

＂我的人生只有两条路。要就干紧死，要不就活的精彩。”
By a 23 year old handicapped guy who played piano with his toes.

Goodbye 2010

Year 2010 has gone

Things has ended.
Another up and down year has gone by.
I've been through tears and laughters in the year.
Some things I've lost and gain
What's lost, it can no longer be recover
What's gain, it's there for us to treasure
Yet what's lay ahead it's still unknow. . .

As age catches up with me, I learned that things wont stay the same forever.
Hence, letting go as much as I can.
Though I can't say I'm carefree till the stage that nothing bothers me.
I do have my negative period and thoughts, which I'll disappear for awhile.

During this 2010, I've seen many things and personalities of people.
People who do things for the benefit of themselves.
People who only cares for themselves
People who are baised
People who has two sides
People who are cunning
People who are truely kind
Unforeseen things that happened.
The tough process of building a new place

Few are good which are hardly exists.
For a brand new year 2011,
I only wish to be more strong and wise.

Move

Be stronger my friend.

This is the reality.
It's the fact that you can't change.

So be strong
Be braver than others
Show it to everyone
That you can do it.

Shed no more tears
Move Move Move