2 days more

Countdown to 2009: 2 days

Yet I'm loaded with works which i fear I couldn't clear it in time. Because it's end of the year. Because it's going to be another new month. Haiz. . .

Will I be able to complete it? How to be positive?
Telling myself nothing can will stop me
I'll try my best to complete the tasks.

Haiz. . . Still I'm human after all. I can be tired. With my daily routine it already took me half the day. I need to reorganise my time. Time management.

Looking back this year 2008. My health fails me. Keep falling sick and real sick till I laid on my bed. Especially it always happen to me during my peak period at work which is the beginning of each month. While at work, many new faces because one couldn't cope and keep hiring new ppl till now Christina and Lifen are stable and at their very best. At last I know now magnum is stable with them around not forgetting Angeline and Ang. TWG = The Wine Gallery - moving on to another 2 more outlets at Boat Quay and Tanglin Shopping Centre. Not Bad right? Haven't been to the last 2 outlets. And it has Daniel to overlook all these outlets. So me not in touch with Gallery much. Unsure their stuffs there.

An unforgettable 3 months break which I always dream and hope for. Finally happened for me in real life. Something I've learnt a lot from this trip. An eye opener. An experience which will in depth in me for a long long time. Uncountable ups and downs. The joyous laughters and harsh times, thick and thin. It's over in a twinkle of eye. Just like it had happened and just like it haven't ever been there. How strange. . . Loss of words to decribe. But overall I'm thankful for those who had made this trip happened for me. Those who encouraged me, those who made me stronger, those who taught me, those who build my strengths and weakness. In conclusion, 1 word "Smile"

Another 2 days, will there be magic?
I pray hard for it. (*^_^*)

Faith

Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.

Dance

Suddenly feel like dancing. . . To find something that has been missing. Been a long time since i last dance be it cultural or modern dance it has been close to 6 years. Bones already stiff. Ask me to spin, i wonder whether i still can do it. Haha.

Though i very much like to lost myself in the music, in dancing where i can release my extra energy, to forget myself, to immerse in the beats. . .

Sick, once again beaten down by sickness. haiz. . . what to do but to be on medication? Antibotics . . . argh something i dislike but no choice. Mmm. . . When will I recover?

Initally these few days my time slot are all fully booked but now I'm stuck at home. . .

Work

Been working lately, today and tml is Wine Fair. Holing myself in work but wondering my path of direction again. Feeling tired and lazy to go anywhere.

Festival season yet I dun feel the mood. Somehow counting down to CNY just wish it will come soon.

Now

There is no better time than now. The time to live is now. The time to dream is now. The time to imagine and forget the past is now. The time to shine is now. The time to bleed, sweat, and determine yourself for the things you want most is now.

30thNov "Joyous"

Today is a joyous day because my friend he has let go. =)
It has been 2 years since his wife passed away. Suffering alone with no one else who can shares his burden. His son who lives far away from him, only focus his attention on his Japanese Girlfriend and even has plan of migrating. His poor father who has just lost his wife and now worried about his son. A person who has carried his burdens and grieving the loss of loved one. That he even has thoughts of committing suicide. Many people console and encourage him but he can’t let go. Till today, he received precious words of encouragement – that I’m sure he will remember for life. I’m very happy for him. Because he had finally let go of the past. He finally find his direction in life. A hellish of 2 years suffering is over. I’m sure this trip will be a memorable one for him. May he went back home with a new life, a new goal, a new him awaiting ahead.

How true it is that there’s a rainbow after the storm. Can u see the beautiful rainbow? I did. I haven’t felt such pure joy for a long time. To see someone who has been in despair and helpless to a new person who has found his strength and direction. I’m really really happy for him. Thinking of this, I asked myself the same question too:” Have I let go?” =)

Remember “You can do it. You can overcome it.”

Typing

Been do typing current, trying to complete it but yesterday I just discover that I've a lot to amend. Oh dear. . .it's like from the start to the end again. Hope I can finish on time.

Never surrender because you never try you'll never know.
Only then you can chase for your goal or aim in your life.
To give up it's easier
But to preverse that's the determination needed
Things always come and goes
Nothing really stay even if they do, it'll still perish in the end
So let things be

Haven't been doing any flower arrangement lately. Wonder will I forget how to arrange when I pick up the flowers? Haha. Perhaps ask the flowers to arrange themselves in the vase. Mmmm . . . people will be thinking I'm crazy.

While guess sometime in life you've to be crazy cos taking things too seriously will never do any good. Let go, Let go, only then you'll find something else.

Moving

Playing safe is probably the most unsafe thing in the world. You cannot stand still. You must go forward.

My friend's nick that had me going on sometime. Because what the statement is true. The best thing to do is move forward. Because stopping down there doesn't help anyone. Only making it worse sometime.

Limit

There's always a limit that we can do
Because we're human being?
Because we give ourselves excurses?

Limits
Boundaries
Are we able to cross it?
The real problem lies with?

=)

Beginning . . .

A new beginning?
Guess so, cos I just settle a problem that keep bothering me. Yet I do feel sad. Letting go has not been easy. Not as easy as 1 2 3. I've learnt something from my trip that is to "Smile".

Big baby told me to smile. No matter what always smile because it can help to ligthen things and change for better. I'm still learning. Though the heavy load is gone, don't know why I can't bring myself to smile.

This morning I saw a few cats. Oh my. . .I start to think of my cats. I really miss them. Those naughty cats that gives me headache. Haha. But now my duty is handover. I can rest assured knowing that they are under good care.

Right now, I need to nurse myself back to health soon and though learn to smile from the heart. Only then happiness will follow.

Sick & Down

Been sick for 1 week already. Feverish and weak since last friday till now. Up and down the temperature like the weather, rainy and sunny. Well, it scares me cos I really wonder what's wrong with me. Took almost all kind of medicine to bring down the feverish yet it just rise to 38/39 in no time. Scare my poor mum too. Haiz. . .Two days mc rest at home. Why it always happen on the beginning month when I've works to complete? What's wrong with me?

I'm sick and down. Unhappy. Unhappy @ work. I don't know what to do. Perhaps that's not the place I should stay anymore. . . Well nothing is forever. Trying to comfort myself. But still down. . . Confuse. Confuse over myself.

Stupid fever burn my brain, can't think clearly right now.
Haiz.

I'm Back

Yup I'm back. . . Feeling weird and blur. I've finally completed my 3 months journey. Something that I've dreamed of but never realise it can happened.

A blessing in disguise, 1 of my luggage has being mis-shipped to another country during transit so I ended up have to make a report at the lost and find office. This poor guy carried the heavy luggage up till my 4th floor house breathlessly. Which I'm lucky that I saved my energy to carry it. Wow. . .

While it's ups and downs for me during this period. An unforgetable experience but a valueable trip for me. . . cos I learnt a lot. =) So it's now for me to adapt back slowly. . Been sleeping for almost the whole day the next day after I touched down Singapore. Sleep till almost noon, then slept again after my lunch till evening and can u imagine I manage to sleep in the later night till dawn?! Sound horrible to me. . . This is the 1st time I slept like this and walking blurly to whatever my destination and get things done. Mmmm. . . it took me 3 days plus to adapt back but now I'm back to work.

Working life once again though I'm grateful to have a break. New faces at work and my dear yaya report last day for work today. Gonna miss her. Everything looks quite stable now at work and me doing trouble shooting at the moment but I'm not sure should I continue this job. . .

Oh. . . many people said I've become thin. Which is true but I hope to stay this way, tired of finding the right clothing to wear. Haha.

Mmm . . . 1 conclusion:"Whatever happened will pass us sooner or later, everything goes on. The world won't stop for you." What logic is that? Something to think on . . .

Countdown

Countdown to 2 more days.
Consider all pack and ready except to bring my heart along.
Left a few more pieces to dump into my bag.

Thinking back when I start planning this trip, it's way few months back. This past few months has it's up and downs. It's not easy. Cos who knows what'll stop you in the track. I can't see what's in front of me but I know what's happened in the past. Not turning back le, but looking uncertainly what's ahead. Just want to do some thinking peacefully. . .

Mmm . . . a bit waste - won't bring wearing the set of clothings that I bought during the shopping trip with the Twin Yeo. Still it's okay, I'll still get to wear it. Office is bit messy and worried cos all are new faces. What to do? Pray they will make it through.

My friend KY, envy he went overseas study for 1.5 years. Nice. . . mmm . . . . smile, too tired to smile. Too tired to do anything.

Well, saying goodbye. (*^_^*) It's been some time I use this smiley face. May the rainbow shine and last after the storm.

Uploading

Whew. . . Finally manage to get the pictures upload. For once I'm proud of my moblie camera. Muak thanks to it that I manage capture those precious scenes. Though I still dislike it because it can't Zoom nor it's able to capture sharp picture since it's a Walkman means for playing music. Well . . . at this moment I shall stick to this till I find a suitable camera.

Ping

Ping A Frog in Search of a New Pond
By Stuart Avery Gold

It's a book that similar to Who Moved My Cheese? I do like that book. Right now still have reading it. I hope I can finish in time and truly understand it because it's pretty "Chim". Haha. Right now I keep fearing that I can't finish all my stuff. Not enough time. "Time is not on my side." This sentence sounds familar, spoken by someone I knew. . . All I know is hopefully whatever I did will be fine.

Some of the quotes from this book "Ping"

The most meaningful journey to take is the one within.

Who can guess that precise moment when your world is going to change?

It's hard to let go when fear lurks inside you.

Be ever mindful of the Way, paying attention to the seen and the unseen.

If the path you travel has no obstacles, it leads nowhere.

Attitude equals altitude

An instant of realization makes its home in a quiet mind.

Listen. Can you hear it? Can you hear the voice of your heart?

To be awake to choice is to be awake to transformation.

To change the future, one needs only to change the present, and that anyone's real future begins with a triumphant commitment to the present.

Article

Came across an article recently in the newspaper. . .

A grow up lady who did some gumbling about life when she went back home to her mum. Her mum put 3 pots of water on to the stove and put on the fire. 1st pot - her mum put a hard solid carrot. 2nd pot - an egg. 3rd pot - coffee beans.

After an hour of boiling. The 1st pot which contain the carrot turn soft. The egg in the 2nd pot has turned into hard boiled egg. The 3rd pot - a nice brew pot of coffee.

Her mum then ask her daughter which she wants to be in life? To turn into a soft and weak as the carrot or Harden like the egg? Or to turn into a favourly brewed coffee?

In life, there's many things we have to go through. Whatever the outcome is - we can choose ourselves. Which do you want to be?

HairCut

Cut my hair pretty short this time. Still not use to it yet. But at least it feels cool. Current hairstyle - school gal type. Feel slightly weird but waiting for it to grow out.

Mood low. . . Silence probably is what can best decribe me now. Hanging on, hanging on to a thin thread.
Thinking. . . .

Working Working

Lately been working continuosly over the week till I feel stone. Not me but almost everyone also look stone. Hopefully this will end and we all can have a break. Yaya last day today, sad to see her go but she'll be back to teach so still will get to see her. . .

Thinking, almost thought my brain ain't working anymore. But guess it still thinks once a while. . . Silence greets me when I'm in deep thoughts. Suddenly unsure of what's ahead. It's look blur. Foggy.

. . . . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.

what's past is past.
Shhh. . . .
The silence of the night is peaceful
Finally I can be myself for a short while. . .

Sick

Rose and awaken to Body ache and fever this morning. What a bad way to start the week. In the end, can't fight my body and rest at home. Spend my day sleeping almost the whole day due to the drowsy medicine. Not nice cos the medicine make me feel weak. Never really like to take it when i've no choice. Must have caught the cold yesterday. Pray that my health will recover and be strong. Cross my fingers.

Talk about choice. . .Thoughts float in my mind.
Heard from Yaya - it's buzy day at work guess so since it's monday. This week have to work the whole week due to wine fair over the weekend. Then it will be yaya last day Next monday. Can't bear to see her go but only then she'll be free from this heavy work. Sigh. Never mind.

Ta ta ta . . .Wow. Thanks Daffy and Diana for the gift where it's sitting on my office table now. =)

Unsure what to say but i've a wish - to pick myself up after the fall. To chase after my dream. There're many things I want to do but 1st of all I need to pick myself together. Lol . . .

New galssssss

Wow. . . company has new staff - baby face carol, young and pretty Tiffany, friendly Christina, any one else wanna join? Haha. Me teaching Tiffany at the moment. She's a fast learner but me being anxious hope she can learn even more faster and be independent cos there're more little things to cover and to let her hands on. She can do it but it takes more time. So can't blame her, it's just the 3rd day. Consider fast learner le. Just that want to make sure I'll be able to handover clearly so it'll be peaceful during the period. Haiz.

To stay or leave? A question mark down there. Many things we always think way ahead and plan but not all things always goes as we plan and hope. So not going to think le, just hope to hand over clearly or else . . . Problem. haha. haiz.

Rainbow after the rain. Hope to see the rainbow after the rain. To able to enjoy the simple bliss. =)

Birthday

Yup. . .it's My birthday. .
A great day I would conclude. Initially, I woke up not feeling anything special cos probably i already had a cake & gift from dad & mum in advance. So I thought it would be just another ordinary day but to my surprise. There're many well wishes from my friends. Firstly, Jas msg slightly after 12. . .and then dear Yaya, HL Milk and Mk in the morning. My close Cousin RuRu & Jeanlyn. Daffy duck, Clouds, Jason, Mt jie randomly msg in the day. Guess what Leon Sim - my ex-classmate which I doubt he would still remember. But He did!

Well Ms Cutie HL milk bought a heart shaped strawberry cake and Ms Yaya - the Mac Milo for my breakfast. Poor Yaya had to do cleaning in the morning becos she spilled the milo. Never carry properly. But really thank you for the thoughts. Especially the Little Black Book. =)

When I reach my place at night, Mt, Bc and St jie gave me a little basket of roses. 6 pink roses with white little flowers surrounding it and the fern leaves as the background. Oh mine, it's beautiful. Sweet pink fresh roses sitting on my study desk. A pair of big roundish earing - i wonder will I wear it??

Not forgetting my close cousin gave me a pink casino watch. Perfect cos I'm looking for a watch too. Their mum give me her blessing which I really gladful for.

The late wishers are Mr Tan KY, Shakiah and Darren. Surprise really cos I remember not many people will remember my bday. There's 1 year - even my dear daddy has forgotten too. haha. Well really thank you for all my dear friends well wishes, gifts and thoughts. It's really the thoughts that matter. With that in turn I give my blessing to you all. May happiness follows everyone. =)

A Big Thank You

A Big Thank U for my Yaya

Thank U for the Black Book.
It's really meaningful, the best gift I have for this year. Guess whatever gifts I might be receiving won't be able to compare to this. I'll treasure it. It takes me 1 night to complete reading but I re-read it quite a few times. =)

Closing the chapter and leaving the past behind. There's a saying "To forgive and forget." Whatever has happended, it's already been done. Nothing can change it or turn back the time. Forgive and forget is the best thing. Lalala.

Time really fast, it's another new month June and another week. Mum is down - sick at home. Pray that she'll recover fast. Many people are down with flu, fever and cough. Sickness spreading in the air. Doctors' pocket are full and busy, patients are suffering from physical toll. . . pray hard everyone will stay healthy. It's not fun to be down with sickness.

Work . . . it's so hard to find a suitable people. Many turn up but not fit for the job. Those shortlist, never turn up for the job. Tough . . . Tough . . . Is there something wrong with the Feng Shui at work? Or else why people doesn't last long here. . . . I wonder why. . .

Thoughts

Walking round and round
Asking myself the qns"What do I really want?"

Deep in my heart I've the answer
Uncertainty, obstacles, doubts will be what I've to face
No doubt that's the way everyone go through

Looking around me, I realise something.
Time has passed too fast.
Youthful faces which I once look at have wrinkles all round, white streak running down once shiny black hair. . .Slow footstep replacing the fast pace.

Flower bloom and winther
Things wear and tear
People come and goes

Trying to treasure the time
To live with no regret
Live simple
Simple is happiness

Close?

Life doesn't stand still for you or me, it just goes on.
How true it is. . . Time has no mercy. It just move on without any thoughts for anything.

Sometime I still think is this chapter really close? Moving forwards and not looking back.
What can I say but to move on. Because there's still many things to do and to prusure.

一千零一夜 词：姚若龙 曲：邰正宵

她总是不言不语 黄昏等到天微明 拔弄着怀中那把无弦琴 寂寞里秋来春去 诺言随风都飘零 梦中人还是没捎来一点消息 一千零一夜 没有一夜不思念 每一分想念化做不成双的蝶 一千零一夜 没有一夜不流泪 流到心里而变成雪 那一夜一场大雨 园里的花落满地 那是他为她种的金钱菊 当有人劝她放弃 她会微笑看着你 手心中紧紧握着发黄的回忆 一千零一夜 没有一夜不思念 每一分想念化做不成双的蝶 一千零一夜 没有一夜不流泪 流到心里而变成雪 一千零一夜 夜夜看到她思念 究竟谁让她有那么忧郁的脸 一千零一夜 夜夜听到她流泪 不知该怎么去安慰 一千零一夜 没有一夜不思念 每一分想念化做不成双的蝶 一千零一夜 没有一夜不流泪 流到心里而变成雪 一千零一夜 夜夜看到她思念 究竟谁让她有那么忧郁的脸 一千零一夜 夜夜听到她流泪 不知该怎么去安慰 是真心都疼真心 让我就从今夜起 在身边为她轻唱温暖的旋律

Rope

A big long thick rope

Tie round it

Trying to tie it to dead

And throw it out

Anew

Starting anew again, yup again. Silly gal who does silly thing.
A game which has ended. Shouldn't be thinking anymore. It's just game which plays for too long.
Ain't it's long enough to stop?

It's tiring.

Good Friday

Been to Ms Yeo house yesterday with XY to enjoy pizza. . .Yup, nice meal and we cook instant mee later on again. Haha. Eat till I'm pretty full and never take my dinner.

Her house is filled with nice furniture, a huge tank with 2 turtles, 1 gueina pig call fitfit, 2 huge cushion on the floor, a corner that is Garden. =) Paintings hang on almost every wall. . While her bedroom is filled with her children, computer, desks with all her gifts on display. Postcards decorating the walls. It's very nice just that no much space for walking. Oh. . .not forgeting the music instructment that they play. It'll be nice if can learn and play it at leisure.

Their pure laughters injected the entire house which probably is sometime I've not heard or enjoy for a long time. To able to laugh and relax to enjoy simple things in their life is an enjoyment, a blissful thing. . .

We watch the show "Twins", where it's all about a clan where it accept only twins discples fighting over the search of heaven bead. An action movie. . . then play the the game on playstation. 1st time playing bah. . .haha.


We leave around 5:35pm, a bit lost when reach downstairs cos there's no visible signs of which blocks they are and where's the main road. Anyhow walk till we unknowingly reach my bus stop instead of XY bus stop. Poor gal has to search her way thru. . .

The timing just right where I managed to reach in time for the session. An enjoyable day. (*^_^*)

Dream

I've a dream
A childhood dream
Which I hold on till it to now

As time passes
Vision clear
Reality is ugly
Dream becomes blur & distant

Should I still pursue this dream?
Where it will build and strengthen me
Where it will taught me many things
Where it shows me whats behold for me

The path is rocky with obstructions
Should I give up?

A childhood dream perhaps is unrealistic to many
But to me, it's important

I murder who i am so that i can rebirth myself in the images of the dreams

BUsy period

Real busy period this past 2 weeks. been rushing works like mad gal. Doing two to three things at a time. Wonder how can i do that. Perhaps it's time for a break.

Ain't sleeping well lately, hopefully a new year will be better.

Sales

Sometime I cannot help but really admire and give a thumb up for my colleague. He’s moving from sales to retail. Yet he still positive and cheerful. Mentioned that it’ll be better for him to take care of his baby. =) Today is his last day and he will be on leave for a week before moving on to Retail. Actually being at retail is good, the least is you stay there at 1 location and fix working time. Unlike sales where you’ve to be on the move even till late nights. Eating up all your free time. . .

Heavy Heart

Today boss come in early, estimate close to 9am . . .Early cos the sales still haven't come in nor is Anis in yet. So there's i sitting down there keying those orders i know. Anyway lucky because this month is a slow month. Not much order. Can do things at your own pace. . . Edward call, envy the little girl can go for 1 month leave. Haha. No time never hear his voice le. . . That's what he claims too, saying I hide away. Lol.

Well. . . heavy heart. Yea right. Ain't smiling for the past few days already. . Gloomy face. =(

Send off

Ms Yeo Twin off on their 1 week holiday @ Taiwan today. Sending them off at the Changi Airport . . . 1st meet them at their house - by reading their self drawn map could only lead me to the traffic light junction and leave me there wondering which route to take becasue no indication of any more traffic light or more specific shops or how long is the distance should i be reaching their home. Almost thought i lost my way so ask the passer by for direction. Ya Ya right Ms Yeo Twin - walk straight all the way. . .

We took cab to airport, only me ate and spend time till 12plus before saying farewell . . . 1 week without yaya @ work - gonna take some time to adapt. But really glad both of them are able to take some time off to enjoy themselves.

Been a bit addicted to my mobile camera. . . Taking candid shot @ things which interests me. . . But still haven't figure out where's the zoom. . .Lazy to touch the manual book. =p

Haiz. . . unsure why lately been feeling really tired. Probably not enough sleep. .Alright going for my beauty sleep.

Countdown - 3 weeks plus to CNY

不要骗我 (Ah Mei)

七点半,你打电话说不能回家吃晚饭. 可是我在等,锅里饭在焖, 又是一个人的夜晚. 你说这个礼拜公司需要你去加班, 说这是应酬,还不是藉口, 我看你不要再隐瞒. 不要骗我,说你爱我, 这份感情我还珍惜. 我知道你很辛苦,每天忙碌. 虽然我知足,却不想装糊涂, 我真的看到你跟她一起. 欺骗我自己,欺骗你自己, 为什么还要在一起. 从没有关心,也没有爱情, 只是为了方便吗. 偷了我的心,耍了我的情, 为什么你还不反省. 试过睁一眼,假装看不见, 我要对你说再见. 你说做个女人应该为男人著想, 不要太好强,不要太多梦想, 这是个男人的世界. 可是你心里应该明白, 你只要你的自由, 应该不应该,把你的爱情收起来. 但是我看到你跟她一起. 这就是骗就是骗自己,骗来骗去结果还是害自己. 为什么还要在一起,也没有尊敬更没有爱情. 你是怕过一个人的生活,只是怕面对一个人的寂寞. 只是怕没有人爱,没有人管,没有人关怀. 为什么你要这样做,嘿! 是不是你看你爸爸从性你妈妈这样做. 不要做,看了就学会去做, 可是你不要犯同样的错误. 下一代犯了同样的错误, 没什么难没什么困难, 只要你对你的良心付费.

A song which I like very much. =)

Mmm. . .

What’s the defination of happiness?

For me it’ll means being carefree, that has no burden or even people which bother you. . .
Being at ease regardless of where you’re, what you’re doing. . .
Being contented with what you have. . .
In additional if able to bring simple joy to others too. . .

A smile that never fail to light up the face. . .
Is that so hard to achieve?

Mmm. . . . . .
Need to forget it, perhaps then everything will be fine.